Why Shadow Work is Crucial on the Twin Flame Path
Your union is already written. Your twin flame’s soul knows exactly where you are at ALL times. There is nothing to create or manifest in actuality. It already exists. Are you a clear channel for receiving it is the question. For most people the answer is no. This is why shadow work is crucial on the twin flame path.
Reality is governed by our subconscious beliefs and desires. It is the subconscious that is connected to the All That Is. It is that part of us that communicates and co-creates with Source. Anywhere that something in your unconscious mind is not in agreement with what you consciously want, what the unconscious wants is what you get. That means that your unconscious desires have to be on board for whatever you say that you want in order to have it.
Life is a Game of Subconscious and Free Will Choices
We like to believe that life is happening to us. When the truth is that life happens for us and because of us at all times. Reality is first and foremost a free will game. Nothing can happen that we do not, on some level, consent to. Anything in your reality is there because a part of you wants it there. If it’s something you don’t consciously want, then the part that does want it is hiding in the shadows of your mind. Shadow work assists us in finding those parts that are opposed to what we say we want, so we can negotiate new terms of reality for ourselves.
It does no good to argue logically that you didn’t choose to be lonely or attract toxic relationships or be without your twin or “insert unwanted situation here”. You will get a lot farther if you can accept that what is in your life is there on purpose. That doesn’t mean that you chose it deliberately. This is not to blame you if you feel a victim to your circumstances. You are in fact a victim, but not of the outside world. You are a victim of your own hidden self that is the one really calling the shots.
"Having is Evidence of Wanting"
Carolyn Elliot PhD, author of Existential Kink, uses the phrase “Having is Evidence of Wanting.” That means that if you “have” it, some part of you “wants” it. Period. Unconditionally accepting this statement, immediately frees you to take back control of your experiences. You are not really in control of your subconscious mind. It gets programed with beliefs and ideas well before you had any conscious agency of your own. Therefore things you have felt were out of your control, have been to some extent. The good news is that your unconscious mind is part of you, so you have the authority to negotiate with, heal, and reprogram it as you see fit.
The basis of shadow work, is to take an unwanted situation and excavate the reasons why you might actually want it. There is some benefit that you are receiving from this unwanted scenario. If there wasn’t any benefit, it wouldn’t be happening. The subconscious mind is getting some want or need fulfilled by it. The reason that you can’t see it is because it is hidden from you, usually by negative ego judgments.
The way that this need or want is getting met may feel unwanted, unpleasant, or worse to you. The subconscious and the soul are absolutely neutral about experiences. They do not label anything as good or bad, everything just is. So if the way your subconscious mind is going about getting something you really want in a way you don’t like, you have to find that need and meet it another way.
An Example of Having is Evidence of Wanting
Say you are having trouble manifesting any suitable romantic partners. This leaves you feeling really lonely a lot of the time. You believe that you do not want to be lonely because it feels bad. You push against it. You do whatever you can to alleviate it, but it just keeps happening. Allowing the possibility that the loneliness is actually wanted by some part of you, you can begin to examine why that might be. What if your subconscious mind keeps people away because you really are afraid of loss, abuse, abandonment, or something much worse than loneliness? What if loneliness is the preferred state to the others? What if loneliness is better?
That is the first step. Transforming the unwanted into a positive benefit or neutralizing it by removing negative judgment. How can this loneliness be a good thing? How is this loneliness keeping you safe from something more painful? Asking questions like this takes you deeper and deeper into that which you have hidden from yourself. As you get curious about the unwanted instead of condemning it, bullying it, or trying to destroy it, it opens up to you. The wounded parts of you, your unconscious is hiding, will come out of the shadows and speak.
As you face and heal those deeper shadows, the need for creating scenarios of loneliness for example, will no longer be necessary. Your life will cease to show signs of the old ways you used to cope or protect yourself from those even more unwanted scenarios. Through shadow work you can address your deeper needs directly. You can negotiate with those parts of yourself to be willing to get what they need in a way that feels better to you.
How it Applies to Twin Flame Union
In the context of twin flame union, looking at not having your twin right now as a beneficial and purposeful manifestation instead of resisting or condemning it, will allow you to uncover what deep hidden needs you have that require your attention. I told someone recently, “You can’t build a beautiful castle of love and light on top of a cess pool of chaos.” Your unconscious mind is a swirling chaotic mess of brambles and weeds, until you take the time to mend and tend it into the Garden of Eden that it was meant to be.
For more information about what shadow work is, you can watch my video entitled, What is Shadow Work? on the Bad Bitch Gone Goddess Youtube Channel. Shadow work is also discussed in the books available in the SHOP as well as an entire module dedicated to the process in my Goddess School Program.
For other teachers and teaching on integrating the shadow I highly recommend the work of, Teal Swan, Jay Earley PhD, Byron Katie, and Carolyn Elliot PhD.