Life Purpose,  Spirituality

Growing Pains: Letting Go of Others Along Your Journey

You will find that the more dedicated you are to your spiritual ascension, the more often you will vibrate out of range of the people you once traveled with. We desire connection above all else, and we too often are willing to compromise ourselves in order to have it. If you trust the process, you will undoubtedly find new connections along the way. These connections will always be in greater alignment with who you are becoming, than who you have been.

You must remember that though you are letting go of a connection with someone, what you are reaching for is greater connection to self and the divine. You have spent so much time not being who you truly are in order to receive love. You have believed that there was no way you could get the acceptance you most desired if you were authentically yourself. But to not be your authentic self, is living out of alignment with your own love and acceptance. There is love and acceptance for you exactly as you were made to be. To find it, you will have to be willing to let go of everything and everyone who is a match to the false self you created.

Why You Like Them

Everything is energy. All things vibrate at one frequency or another. When we “vibe” with someone, we are similar in vibration. We are like them so we “like” them. Sometimes this is a permanent match to our deeper essence. Sometimes we are just passing each other along our way somewhere else. People that are similar to your core frequency, will be constants for a lifetime. They may pop in and out of your daily life as the unique flow of each of your paths shifts. Or they may remain ever present. Others, you match up with because you’ve caught the same vibrational train so to speak. Sooner than later, one or both must go their own way. 

Everyone has a core frequency within them that they must arrive at. This is the goal of any spiritual practice. This core frequency is your own unique destination. If you become attached to another along your way, and they are not heading to the same place, you may join them on their route and miss your own destiny. We do this all the time. We get caught up in maintaining a connection with someone, and they slow us down, or take us off track altogether. We call this love or loyalty. We call it whatever we need to, to stay close to them.

Holding On

Holding on to what reveals itself as a passing experience, holds us back from achieving our greatness. You liked them so much and you don’t want the experience to end. But there is even more that is more like you if you stay on track. Sometimes we get attached because we see their potential is to travel as far as we are going. But if they keep getting off at the wrong stop, you can’t keep getting off at the wrong stop just to stay with them. In fact, you may be hindering their ability to recognize that they are choosing the wrong route. You cannot be a catalyst for others to change, if you join them every time they take a wrong turn. 

If you know better, you have to be the example. Maybe they’ll wake up and correct their path. Maybe they won’t. If they don’t, you will have to mourn the loss. Do not run back to save them. You can’t save anyone. I do think it’s absolutely okay to help others for a time, and therefore delay your journey a bit to assist them. Eventually, you will know if they are moving forward, or if they are holding you back from your own growth. If you find that you are not making the strides that you want to be making, you have to examine your current connections to the people and situations in your life. 

You have to ask yourself why you are staying behind with them. Is it because they have asked for your assistance and wisdom? Or is it because you know where you have to go, and you know they can’t come with you? In the first instance, you honor the request and help this other soul because they want to follow you. You may even slow your pace a bit. If they fall too far behind, you keep it moving. You’ve lit the path. They will catch up. In the second, you stay where they are because they are unable or unwilling to go where you’re going. You sacrifice your own growth in that process. Which version of holding back it is, is something you have to become aware of.

Letting Go

Letting people go is much easier when they are doing something specifically to harm you. Where it gets challenging is when you simply no longer vibe with where or who they are. They haven’t done anything wrong per se, so it’s more difficult to resolve. You don’t want to seem like you’re being judgmental or condemning their current state of growth. You may honor loyalty and still care very much for them. But to remain where they are no longer feels good to you. At this point, the choice is remain in connection with them and lose connection with yourself, or let them go. 

To reach new heights, you must release experiences that have ran their course. This often means letting go of people and situations that cannot or will not make the upward shift with you. The first time you have to do this is heartbreaking. As you cross that initial void, and the universe fills it with what is a better match to you, you will begin to have more trust. It does get easier, but it may take some time. Each time we release what no longer matches our new frequency, it is a leap of faith into the unknown. The temporary emptiness that follows is scary. The more intimate the relationship, the more difficult it is. 

You must remember that the connection you truly seek is the connection to your true self. Anyone that is meant for you will find a way to meet you. You are doing a disservice to yourself and to them, by staying behind and resisting your own expansion. This journey can feel incredibly lonely at times. You must remember that those moments you feel alone, are only the moments in between levels. The pain that you feel is only you trying to stay small, when your spirit has already grown.

There are people you cared about on the road you left behind, but there will be others more like you on your new path. The only reason you don’t trust that is because of the fear of the unknown. To find your new groove, you have to transition all the way out of the old way of being. Your vibe no longer matches your old life, but if you hold onto to it, you can’t ever reach the new one. The not here but not there feeling of the in-between is what hell is actually made of. 

Save Yourself, To Save Others

Once you get to vibrational safety, you will be more equipped to help others on their own journeys. If you jump in the water to save people, because you don’t want to get on the boat, you will all drown. If your soul is calling you to elevate yourself above people and situations you have grown attached to, realize that you have a higher calling. It’s okay to be better than some people. It’s okay to be more advanced and further down the road. You are a light bearer and you must go ahead to light the way.

Trust in your mission. Trust in your divine plan. Trust that no one truly gets left behind. Trust that the very reason you must go ahead is so that others may learn the way forward. Release these old connections with grace and love. You will find your new tribe to pull you up and support you. But you will only find these new connections if you turn towards the direction you are heading and away from where you have been. 

Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

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