Manifestation,  Shadow Work,  Spirituality

The Dark Side of Gratitude

Gratitude is Magic

I have heard and known that a dedicated gratitude practice is a phenomenal transformational experience. Taking an attitude of gratitude almost instantly aligns you with the flow of abundance from the universe. It is a practice that people swear by, though one I honestly hadn’t adopted long-term. I recently released a Twin Flame Guided Journal. It is a 60 day practice of gratitude and self-reflection. I’m not mentioning it as shameless self-promotion here. (Okay, maybe a little.) I’m really mentioning it, because everything that gets downloaded to me I test out on myself. 

So I’ve been doing my own gratitude and self-reflection in this twin flame journal. Within only a few days of listing my blessings, I began to experience profound shifts.  My energy improved and someone who is a potential twin flame started interacting and even initiating contact regularly. It was like the magic button that I had been looking for. I was amazed honestly at how quickly things were shifting in a positive direction. But then around day 13 I hit a wall, hard. 

The Dark Side of Gratitude

The beautiful thing about gratitude is that is absolutely magnetizes to you what you desire at record speeds. The other thing about it, is that as it magnetizes to you your greatest desires, it also calls forth your greatest fears. See the only reason you don’t yet have the things you most want are because there is resistance in the form of negative beliefs, traumatic experiences, and fear. So the part about gratitude practices that people don’t really talk about is this dark side that emerges in the process. 

As you begin to call into your experience what your heart truly desires, anything that has held those things away from you begins to surface. Anxieties and fears of unworthiness, memories of being rejected or humiliated, blocks to receiving, all of the nasties that you have hidden away in your subconscious rear their ugly heads. At least that was my experience. Gratitude shifts your reality so quickly that it can be hard to catch your breath. If you are not aware of this part of the process, you may give up on the practice all together. Don’t. If you hit the wall, it is absolutely doing its job.

Facing the Dark Side

Simply knowing that there is a dark side of gratitude is incredibly liberating. There isn’t anything wrong with you or the practice. What you might be experiencing is simply a new layer of resistance between you and what you want. The more you want what you want, the more intense these shadows can be. The first step to moving through this is to recognize what is happening. In one moment you may have been feeling optimistic and joyful. Then just as suddenly you may feel like running away, or freezing, or ignoring or giving up on the gratitude work altogether. The high flying mood you had been in takes a plummet towards irritation, anger, resentment, and other not good feeling places. 

The first instinct is that this shit isn’t working. When actually it is working perfectly. The minute you asked for something it was given to you. The only reason you do not have it in your experience is because of what you have placed in the way that prevents you from receiving it. So what gratitude actually does is shine the divine light upon the thing you asked for so that you can see it. In that process, it also shines the light on what is blocking it from getting to you. To get to what you want, you have to move through these blocks. 

To do that, you will have to face the negative emotions that have surfaced. You will have to resist the urge to run away from this darkness and instead, dive headfirst into it. It takes courage to take responsibility for the fact that it is your own shadows that are preventing you from your deepest desires. This however, is the first step. There is no side-stepping or bypassing facing these things. Acknowledge the negative feelings that arise. Be open to listening to the message that the fear or anxiety or hesitation is offering you. 

How to Manage 

Take these negative feelings and write them down. Call a trusted friend or spiritual advisor that can assist you with working through your fears or pent up anger, grief, and so on. You may also have to deal with the frustration about being so close to what you want and feeling like this dark side is preventing you from getting to it. You may feel resentful of having to do more shadow work. Whatever it is you feel, allow it. Then once, you allow it without judgment, find out what that part of you needs to feel loved, safe, or release the low frequency emotions. 

Continue to do your gratitude practice throughout all of this. You may find that it doesn’t produce the high flying feeling that it once did. That’s okay. You can feel grateful for the darkness. You can feel grateful for the lessons and the opportunity to dive deeper into your healing process. You can be grateful for grace and assistance and second chances. You can be grateful for forgiveness and for allowing yourself to be human and flawed. You can be grateful that the light of source is bringing clarity and consciousness to that which had been hidden from you before. 

Remember that if you choose to face these blocks and resistance, you will move through them. You are so close. Do not allow the discomfort to make you turn back. These dark places are only the parts of you that most desperately need your love and attention. They are only blocking you from what you want because they believe they are protecting you from something that you don’t want. You must lovingly investigate what that is so that you can renegotiate with these parts and offer them the reassurance they need to allow you to move forward towards your dreams. 

You are beautiful and you are magnificent. Everything you could ever want is just beyond these walls. The good news is that you created them, so you have the power to release them. I am with you every step of the way. I love you so much.


Gone Goddess

If you need assistance, I am now offering readings and shadow work sessions at

Goddess School also offers tools and teachings to help you clear conflicting beliefs and trauma that may be keeping you from your dream life. For more information about shadow work, watch my video entitled “What is Shadow Work?” on

Image by Karen Smits

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